Venting 6

Not very dramatic 

I need to be ANGRY at the fucking REVISIONS

aaaaaaaah I hate working on stupid shiiiiiiiit it’s been 7 fucking hours of almost non-stop working uuuuurgh

And we don’t even know what kind of writing we’ll get in the exams what kind of stupid shit is THAT how am I FUCKINF supposed to work if I don’t know how I have to use the knowledge in the end aaaah

thank god it’s only two days BUT STILL SINCE I PROCRASTINATED LIKE A SHIT I HAVE TO GOBBLE EVERYFUCINK SHIT RIGHT NOW AND ITS SO BORING OMG SAVE ME

After that back to my parents place for a bit (gonna see the docs and get my meds, I think it’s gonna help me uurgh I’m all out of Xanax and my stomach has been literally killing me lately)

I don’t want to leave my apartment since I cleaned up and tidied everything up here I feel so good there… I could literally sleep on the floor it’s so clean and vast…

It’s my place and my life, my stupid posters and figures and plushies…my food, my rules… Clean my hands and everything else as often as I want…
No one to look at me with pity if I attempt dressing in a non-gender conforming way, no one to continuously misgender me like “nbd lol” (look it’s not because i don’t say anything that it doesn’t bother me i just feel ridiculous and embarrassed by it all god…i’m just not confident enough to affirm who i am (and frankly a bit tired of doing so))… No NPC on the streets judging me cause I’m fat or ugly…
I can just be myself, put a fuckton of glitter every-fucking-where if I want (especially on my dumb and bloated face) and chill in my leopard onesie with tea and ytb let’s plays hjdskl 

After these exams and the inevitable trip to my parents’ place I’ll be back home, ready to work on my research project and my language learning… I also got a sewing machine, I can’t wait to try it… 
Courage, courage, me.