Does every goth femme have those black thigh highs with the stripes at the top?
My thighs too chub
Same tho. They roll aaaaaaaall the way down
let me introduce you to SockDreams! They make actual good quality socks & stockings for thick thighs and they’re AMAZING and I have thunder thighs and they still fit. Like. Freakin’ amazing.
Also, finding thigh highs are so fucking difficult since my thighs are thick but the rest of my legs are skinny. They never stay up ever.
Sock slippage is a real problem, and I’ve seen people have trouble no matter the size of their leg (big or small, it actually comes down more to the shape of your leg). Of course, gravity will always be an issue, but there are a few ways you can combat it!
I’ve found wearing socks layered over leggings or tights is the easiest way to help them stay up better. This is especially nice in the winter, when you’ll want to layer up anyway.
There are also garter belts, which can work really well either over tights/leggings, or on their own. For thicker socks, I’d recommend the Suspender Clip Industrial Garter Belt, since it has more stay-up power. But garter belts can show under thinner dresses and skirts, and aren’t super comfortable with pants/shorts, so…
My favorite method is sock glue. We carry the It Stays! Body Adhesive, and it can be a life-safer. It has a roll-on applicator, and washes right off with water, so it’s very easy to both apply and remove. You just roll it on, press the socks down for a few seconds to help it set, and then you should be good to go all day!
This post gives me life because I have to wear fitted compression thigh highs every day because of my illness to keep me from passing out. I can’t wear these, but I didn’t know people wore them and look cute as fuck doing so and now I feel less awkward 😭😭😭😭 Thank you beautiful sould
Aw, nothing to be embarrassed about! Sounds like your socks are both functional and fashionable. Rock those socks with pride!
in this post, i will detail my rankings and reasons thereof of the sluttiness level of every character in hamlet, or their “ho ratio,” if you will,
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where’s the rest of the post op
HAMLET ho-ratio: 11/10. thirty years old and somehow still going through his emo phase. definitely tried to convince ophelia that blue balls was a serious medical condition. has συμφορά tattooed on his bicep. probably makes out with skulls.
OPHELIA ho-ratio: 5/10. probably would have boned hamlet if he wasn’t SUCH a turd about asking. learned kissing from her maidservants. annoyed to have died a virgin but preferred death to sexual intimacy with literally anybody in the danish court.
LAERTES ho-ratio: 7/10. spent his youth in paris, presumably being very french about sex. grew up fencing with hamlet, so it can be assumed they touched dicks at least once, on a dare. nice boy, tries hard, loves the game. very relieved to die before accidentally fathering a child with someone he’d have to keep secret from his father.
GERTRUDE ho-ratio: 6/10. gamely tried to bone only her first husband for the first two years of marriage before giving up on him ever getting good at it and took her business elsewhere. will try anything once, provided claudius lets her try it on him first. comfortable with nonmonogamy, but not polyamory, because she doesn’t want to have to care about more than one person’s emotional wellbeing.
CLAUDIUS ho-ratio: 10/10, which is also the number of chefs in the court who wish he would stop doing naked bikram yoga in the kitchens.
HORATIO ho-ratio: 0/10. unproblematic. pure as the driven snow. all sexual fantasies are filled with enthusiastic consent and respectful lovemaking. wants his first time to be special, with a person he loves. has kissed one person in his whole life and refused to brag about it to his friends. “if you’re asking me how many times I’ve been in love, the answer is two. but the rest I won’t talk about.”
YORRICK ho-ratio: 2/10. literally a skull. made out with hamlet. not proud of it.
THE GHOST ho-ratio: 3/10. won’t shut up about his ex-wife during sexual encounters. generally unsexy to be around. very cold.
POLONIUS ho-ratio: 7/10. just happy, and surprised, to be here.
ROSENCRANTZ & GUILDENSTERN ho-ratio: 13/10. exclusively engage in threesomes. always down to experiment. well-known on campus for hosting parties with competitive Sexy Poetry Readings, which is when guests are invited to recite poetry naked, and instead of applause are given kisses. just here to have a good time. unfairly murdered. gone 2 soon. always in our hearts.
THE PIRATES ho-ratio: 15/10. all pirates are sluts for treasure.
FORTINBRAS ho-ratio: 2/10. just a soft beefcake looking for a nice girl. confused by denmark. probably would have boned hamlet if he hadn’t been dead by the time he got there.
for all of you trying to tell me that ophelia didn’t die a virgin, first of all i specifically said that these ratings were 100% correct and not to refute them, and secondly, i cannot believe a single one of you honestly thinks she would have caved to hamlet, the least sexy and most unbearable person in all of denmark. also, you will note that her rating is 5/10, not 0/10. there is MORE TO SEXUAL ACTIVITY THAN APPARENTLY ANY OF YOU HAVE DREAMT OF IN YOUR PHILOSOPHY.
So I went to a cemetery today. It was really nice, I love walking around cemeteries. But when I got to the back I started to feel.. uncomfortable? I got a migraine. I didn’t feel right so I walked back towards the front of the cemetery and when I left that section it’s like my migraine instantly vanished.
When visiting a cemetery, it is considered polite witchcraft to ask permission and make an offering to the gatekeeper of the cemetery. The gatekeeper is considered to be the first person laid to rest in the cemetery, so you’d look for the oldest grave. But if that’s not possible, you can also look for the tallest monument. I’ve been told it’s traditional to knock three times and leave an offering of three silver coins (or dimes). Though I have left other offerings over the years and felt welcome in the cemetery.
For some cemeteries it’s acceptable to greet them instead. A bow and a brief acknowledgement of the passing of those around you may suffice, as some places don’t have gatekeepers. Still, if having the moment to do so, meander until you find yourself at a particular grave. That’s the one you should thank and pay homage to.
And if you only felt that kind of tension in one area of the cemetary, that could be those entities saying “no, not now. Please leave” and that headache was your direction to wander away towards a different cluster.
Plume de Lynx 