Catch gold medalist, skating legend Viktor Nikiforov ghibli sobbing into Christophe Giacometti’s (sparkly, freshly pressed- oh my god Viktor stop) suit while his husband-to-be Katsuki Yuuri is dead to the world, passed out on the floor naked with said skating legend’s panties on his head, just because he misunderstood a caring tentative of not letting him regret all his previous life choices (I was saying you were too tense, Viktor! You could’ve hurt your back, you’re not twenty anymore! Oh no- don’t get offended, you’re still young- I didn’t mean it like that!) as Yuuri talking about a mythical ex who dared to be more flexible than him. “I thought I knew everything about him,” he sniffles prettily on the delicate cashmere, smearing it with snot as an horrified Chris pats him on the arm “Who is this person? This Shi- Chihoko?!”
Catch the same Viktor Nikiforov ignoring that it’s cold as balls and climbing up the tallest building in Hasetsu, butt naked and everything because he has nothing to hide and everything to prove, flexing his heart (and still more than acceptable pecs, thank you very much) out and bellowing “This person may be Yuuri’s past, but I am his now!”
Enter a flushed, very hangover Katsuki Yuuri, who had to run there, just in time to hear Viktor yelling at the top of his lungs, “IS THIS BETTER THAN CHIHOKO”
confused as to who the hell is this Chihoko guy, and why exactly is his fiancé trying to become a replica of the
“He thinks Chihoko is your ex,” someone suspiciously sounding like a delighted Phichit supplies, followed by the shutter of a camera.
Yuuri takes a deep breath, blushes wildly just thinking about what he’s going to say. “I could search the whole world, nobody is better than you!”
And there Viktor is, a determinate, intimately smitten expression written all over his face, as he sniffles from the cold, fixing him with a fierce gaze and “Yuuri,” he pleads, “Strip and join me here!”
Let it be said that Katsuki Yuuri really, really loves Viktor Nikiforov, because even as he lets out a long suffering whine, he’s already reaching for the hem of his shirt and pep talking himself into public humiliation.
“What the actual fuck,” Yurio screeches, and Otabek places a hand over his shoulder and drags him away.
So today (4/29/2017) I went to the Yuri on Ice Yuri on Stage event. To clarify though, I was not at the actual Tokyo event, rather a live viewing at a local movie theater. Which of course does alter the experience but it’s the next best thing. At first I thought the theater was only doing the afternoon session, but very last minute I ended up being able to attend both!
The answer to the question: “what would happen if both Yuuri and Victor got drunk at the same time”
Which turns out to be: “they BOTH strip and get super flirty with each other”
Victor loving Yuuri’s off-season katsudon tummy and squishing it happily and excitedly
Victor drunkenly flirting with Chris, making Yuuri jealous and prompting him to go all “look only at me” and “you aren’t looking ENOUGH” on him
Them playing a drinking strip game (essentially rock-paper-scissors/janken)
The implication that this is a COMMON OCCURRENCE for Victor and Yuuri and that they do it often (i.e. whenever they drink together, which is apparently frequently)
Naked stretching during which “Chihokogate” happens
Victor getting super jealous at this “Chihoko” and assuming its Yuuri’s ex-lover
Yuuri waking up like 10 hours later with a vicious hangover, wearing Victor’s underwear on his head like its a goddamn crown, and the words “OVERCOME CHIHOKO” scribbled on his back
Everyone wondering where the fuck Victor disappeared off to
People accusing Yuuri of hiding him away
People accusing Yurio of getting rid of him bc they found his list of edgy exhibition skate titles (including: “Yuri on DARKNESS” klfjskdfjs)
Them finding Victor essentially flexing on top of Hasetsu Castle, naked
Victor, screaming at the top of his lungs for the whole town to hear basically: “THIS PERSON IS YUURI’S PAST, BUT I AM YUURI’S NOW”
Y: “GET DOWN FROM THERE”
V: “IS THIS BETTER THAN CHIHOKO??”
Y: “WHO THE HELL IS CHIHOKO?????????”
The plot twist being Victor misheard Yuuri saying the word “shachihoko” in Japanese, and thus there IS no ex-lover lmaoooo
(The implication that this may mean Yuuri and Victor sometimes converse in Japanese bc Victor’s Japanese has improved to that point)
Y: “I COULD SEARCH THE WHOLE WORLD–NOBODY IS BETTER THAN YOU”
My soul being saved by this
Victor asking Yuuri to join him on top of the castle, naked
Yuuri ACTUALLY DOING IT
Them enjoying the view, while being naked and somehow not getting fucking arrested
Bonus:
Seung-gil being an affectionate drunk and kissing Nishigori LMAO
I’m not too late to the crop top Yuuri love am I??? And crop top Victor is invited too, right?? My homage to @zephyrine-gale‘s beautiful body-positive, gender-role-crushing flaunty shirt revolution starring confident happy Yuuri (the best Yuuri) and @inarisushi‘s iconic IRL homemade crop top
this was @bringmethatvegenaise ’s suggestion AGAIN
who was the fool who was tasked with naming the galaxy and the only adjective they could think of was ‘mmmmmmmmmmmmilky…’
scientist: (gazing up at space) scientist: ……….. it sure is a milky boy
NO
YOU DONT UNDERSTAND
ASTRONOMERS ARE THE SHITTIEST EVER AT NAMING THINGS I KID YOU NOT.
When it came time to name the two theoretical particle types that might be dark matter THEY INTENTIONALLY CHOSE THE NAMES SO THAT THE ACRONYMS WOULD SPELL “WIMPS” AND “MACHOS” I SHIT YOU NOT
THEY ARE FUCKING TERRIBLE AT NAMING ANYTHING
I just listened to a talk by Neil deGrasse Tyson himself LAST NIGHT and he went on about this more than once.
“I’m walking down the street and I’m like ‘ooh pretty rock…’ and some Geologist is like ‘actually, that’s anorthosite feldspar’ and I’m like ‘Nevermind, I don’t want it anymore.’ Any biologists in the audience? [some clapping] Yeah, you know what I’m talking about. The most important molecule in the human body, what did you name it? It has NINE SYLLABLES and it’s so long that even YOU GUYS abbreviate it as ‘DNA’!
But astrophysicists and astronomers? No, man, we call it like we see it. Star made of neutrons? NEUTRON STAR. Small white star? WHITE DWARF. You know that big red spot on Jupiter? Know what we called it? JUPITER’S RED SPOT.”
okay i’m glad you mentioned the biologist nonsense bc their naming methods are the bane of my existence
I see your astrophysicists-are-shit-at-names and raise you Marine-Biologists-Are-Fucking-Maniacs.
See this beautiful creature?
It’s a carnivorous deep-sea sponge that lives off of Easter Island and never sees the light of day, as it’s about 9000 feet down. Those delicate-looking orbs are covered in millions of tiny hooked spines, which latch onto anything unfortunate enough to bump into it, and hold it in place as it is digested alive by the sponge’s skin. Amazing, beautiful and profoundly creepy. They could have given it so many cool names. Could have drawn on mythology (I think Scylla would have been an appropriate reference), the region it was found in, the textured skin, PHAGOCYTOSIS, anything!
GUYS THE YURI!!! ON STAGE EVENT IS IN A FEW HOURS, AND LOOK AT THIS, “with a WISH” made
wedding tuxedo suits, collaboration exclusively for YOI, I CAN’T.
