When I was younger and more abled, I was so fucking on board with the fantasy genre’s subversion of traditional femininity. We weren’t just fainting maidens locked up in towers; we could do anything men could do, be as strong or as physical or as violent. I got into western martial arts and learned to fight with a rapier, fell in love with the longsword.
But since I’ve gotten too disabled to fight anymore, I… find myself coming back to that maiden in a tower. It’s that funny thing, where subverting femininity is powerful for the people who have always been forced into it… but for the people who have always been excluded, the powerful thing can be embracing it.
As I’m disabled, as I say to groups of friends, “I can’t walk that far,” as I’m in too much pain to keep partying, I find myself worrying: I’m boring, too quiet, too stationary, irrelevant. The message sent to the disabled is: You’re out of the narrative, you’re secondary, you’re a burden.
The remarkable thing about the maiden in her tower is not her immobility; it’s common for disabled people to be abandoned, set adrift, waiting at bus stops or watching out the windows, forgotten in institutions or stranded in our houses. The remarkable thing is that she’s like a beacon, turning her tower into a lighthouse; people want to come to her, she’s important, she inspires through her appearance and words and craftwork. In medieval romances she gives gifts, write letters, sends messengers, and summons lovers; she plays chess, commissions ballads, composes music, commands knights. She is her household’s moral centre in a castle under siege. She is a castle unto herself, and the integrity of her body matters.
That can be so revolutionary to those of us stuck in our towers who fall prey to thinking: Nobody would want to visit; nobody would want to listen; nobody would want to stay.
Tag: important
I firmly believe that every pet owner should look in to getting an emergency evacuation kit. It can literally just contain an extra harness and leash for your pup with a doggy bag of food, or for reptile owners, a small crate for the beardie, a pillow case per snake, etc. That way in case of a fire, flood, or other type of emergency you can run to them, grab them out of their cages and secure them all quickly and efficiently.
Keep some heat pads as well. Extra plug in ones and even just some shipping ones. You don’t know how long you will go without power in a cold month.
“Is it normal?” The binding edition
Yes:
- Getting winded after walking quickly/upstairs with binder on, but able to catch breath
- Chafing in the underarm areas
- Soreness (during or after) in arms, shoulders, or back
- Increased acne on chest or back
- Mild anxiety about tightness
- Chest sagging
No, take it off and rest, see a doctor if problem gets worse or doesn’t go away after taking the binder off (or after one week):
- Nausea during or after binding, including nausea caused by pain
- Bruising
- Out of breath/can’t catch breath when not wearing binder
- Skin rash
- Sharp pains in ribs
- Not able to cough or sneeze
- Numbness in arms
- Feeling too tired/sore to do everyday activities
- Suddenly having any of the above symptoms even if you’ve been binding for years
No, see a doctor ASAP, could be a sign of serious injury:
- Anything from the above category if you can just tell/feel something is wrong, better safe than sorry
- Extreme claustrophobia/panic attacks
- Sharp pain in chest/heart skipping beats or beating very fast
- Not able to breathe
- Dizziness
- Blueness in lips or fingertips
- Change in shape of ribcage
- Fainting
good stuff to know if you wear a binder, especially if you’re new to it. this is way more informative than the basic “don’t wear it for more than 8 hours uwu!!!111!!” – although that is also good advice. sometimes the time you keep it on will vary because of your schedule, and you don’t have to panic if that’s the case. just pay attention your body, know what’s safe, and crack your poor back as often as you can.
Plume de Lynx 