Traditional Celtic marriage vows, better than anything I’ve ever heard:

witchylittlegirl:

miss-mouth:

miss-mouth:

shrineart:

merlins-total-turnip-head:

You cannot possess me for I belong to myself
But while we both wish it, I give you that which is mine to give
You cannot command me, for I am a free person
But I shall serve you in those ways you require
and the honeycomb will taste sweeter coming from my hand.

But there’s more of it?

I pledge to you that yours will be the name I cry aloud in the night.
And the eyes into which I smile in the morning.
I pledge to you the first bite from my meat,
And the first drink from my cup.
I pledge to you my living and dying, equally in your care,
And tell no strangers our grievances.
This is my wedding vow to you.
This is a marriage of equals.

This legitimately makes me want to cry. Perfect.

I found the last line.

“And beyond this, I will cherish and honor you through this life, and into the next.”

I’m crying

rustfoxes:

More “wtf are humans, please leave the rest of us be” stuff:

Human reactions to fear!

No, I’m not talking about screaming or freezing in one spot and pissing yourself. I’m talking about the weirder, more specific-to-only-humans fear reactions.

Like singing.

Idk how many of you have watched people play horror video games, but a surprising amount of people start narrating what’s going on in a sing-song voice.

Imagine being an alien, walking in a horrific, dark tunnel with these weird gangly creatures, you’re all scared out of your wits and then one of them starts fucking singing.

In a dark cave. While everyone’s terrified.

“ ♫ ~We are all gonna fucking die, this is terrible and I wanna go hooooome~ ♬ ”

everythingcanadian:

ariaste:

wildhaunt:

everkings:

kid-communism:

combatbooty:

1) they expensive bruh 2) none of us kno the dif btwn a fucking diamond and some fancy ass glass ur capitalist rock hierarchy has no control over us

3) mostly mined with slave labor

4) we get excited when our date buys us an appetizer, we don’t even comprehend people buying us rocks that would force us into debt for ten years

5) They aren’t actually that rare and the price is artificially inflated. 

Pro tip from a former Jared’s salesperson: You want a sparkly white rock that will look like a diamond to the untrained eye and will literally cost the price of a nice dinner for two? Created white sapphire. They’re lab grown and cost *pennies* to make, so you can get a 1 or 2 carat white sapphire for like… $30-80 probably. You can get one as huge as you like, perfectly clear, perfectly flawless. And no one will ever be able to tell the difference except a professional appraiser. Also, sapphires are the second-hardest gemstone (right after diamonds) so they are very durable! Very unlikely that they’ll chip or crack. Get that bitch set in sterling silver and you are GOOD TO GO. Whole thing should cost you less than $200 unless you get a fancy band with a lot of extra stones. Of course, created sapphires come in every color of the rainbow, so if you want something more exciting than plain white, you TOTALLY CAN. 

Created sapphires and silver: The poor Millennial’s engagement ring. 

THANK YOU EX-JARED’S BASED GOD. 

Attention anyone who needs hairstyle references

benzarro-smash:

I want to introduce all of you to this amazing place called the ukhairdressers style gallery.

It’s basically a massive database full of high-quality images of different hairstyles. I mean, look at all the options in that sidebar (and part of it’s cut off):

image

In total they have 976 pages of hairstyles with about 17 styles each, that’s about 16592 hairstyles to look at. 

Look at all the stuff they’ve got! Long hair:

image

Short hair:

image

Straight hair:

image

Curly hair:

image

Afro hair:

image

Men’s hair:

image

Hair on older models:

image

Extra-fancy hair:

image

Even crazy avant-garde hair:

image

So if you need help with designing a character or you just want to practice drawing hair, this is a fantastic resource.

Words to replace said, except this actually helps

nichelle-my-belle:

imagines–assemble:

msocasey:

I got pretty fed up with looking for words to replace said because they weren’t sorted in a way I could easily use/find them for the right time. So I did some myself.

IN RESPONSE TO
Acknowledged
Answered
Protested

INPUT/JOIN CONVERSATION/ASK
Added
Implored
Inquired
Insisted
Proposed
Queried
Questioned
Recommended
Testified

GUILTY/RELUCTANCE/SORRY
Admitted
Apologized
Conceded
Confessed
Professed

FOR SOMEONE ELSE
Advised
Criticized
Suggested

JUST CHECKING
Affirmed
Agreed
Alleged
Confirmed

LOUD
Announced
Chanted
Crowed

LEWD/CUTE/SECRET SPY FEEL
Appealed
Disclosed
Moaned

ANGRY FUCK OFF MATE WANNA FIGHT
Argued
Barked
Challenged
Cursed
Fumed
Growled
Hissed
Roared
Swore

SMARTASS
Articulated
Asserted
Assured
Avowed
Claimed
Commanded
Cross-examined
Demanded
Digressed
Directed
Foretold
Instructed
Interrupted
Predicted
Proclaimed
Quoted
Theorized

ASSHOLE
Bellowed
Boasted
Bragged

NERVOUS TRAINWRECK
Babbled
Bawled
Mumbled
Sputtered
Stammered
Stuttered

SUAVE MOTHERFUCKER
Bargained
Divulged
Disclosed
Exhorted

FIRST OFF
Began

LASTLY
Concluded
Concurred

WEAK PUSY
Begged
Blurted
Complained
Cried
Faltered
Fretted

HAPPY/LOL
Cajoled
Exclaimed
Gushed
Jested
Joked
Laughed

WEIRDLY HAPPY/EXCITED
Extolled
Jabbered
Raved

BRUH, CHILL
Cautioned
Warned

ACTUALLY, YOU’RE WRONG
Chided
Contended
Corrected
Countered
Debated
Elaborated
Objected
Ranted
Retorted

CHILL SAVAGE
Commented
Continued
Observed
Surmised

LISTEN BUDDY
Enunciated
Explained
Elaborated
Hinted
Implied
Lectured
Reiterated
Recited
Reminded
Stressed

BRUH I NEED U AND U NEED ME
Confided
Offered
Urged

FINE
Consented
Decided

TOO EMO FULL OF EMOTIONS
Croaked
Lamented
Pledged
Sobbed
Sympathized
Wailed
Whimpered

JUST SAYING
Declared
Decreed
Mentioned
Noted
Pointed out
Postulated
Speculated
Stated
Told
Vouched

WASN’T ME
Denied
Lied

EVIL SMARTASS
Dictated
Equivocated
Ordered
Reprimanded
Threatened

BORED
Droned
Sighed

SHHHH IT’S QUIET TIME
Echoed
Mumbled
Murmured
Muttered
Uttered
Whispered

DRAMA QUEEN
Exaggerated
Panted
Pleaded
Prayed
Preached

OH SHIT
Gasped
Marveled
Screamed
Screeched
Shouted
Shrieked
Yelped
Yelled

ANNOYED
Grumbled
Grunted
Jeered
Quipped
Scolded
Snapped
Snarled
Sneered

ANNOYING
Nagged

I DON’T REALLY CARE BUT WHATEVER
Guessed
Ventured

I’M DRUNK OR JUST BEING WEIRDLY EXPRESSIVE FOR A POINT/SARCASM
Hooted
Howled
Yowled

I WONDER
Pondered
Voiced
Wondered

OH, YEAH, WHOOPS
Recalled
Recited
Remembered

SURPRISE BITCH
Revealed

IT SEEMS FAKE BUT OKAY/HA ACTUALLY FUNNY BUT I DON’T WANT TO LAUGH OUT LOUD
Scoffed
Snickered
Snorted

BITCHY
Tattled
Taunted
Teased

reblog to save a writer 

excellent resource

rnoonpie:

thaxted:

santheum:

oldtoadwoman:

pftones3482:

idiagroena:

prokopetz:

basiacat:

basiacat:

that’s not………. how child speech works…………………………………………..

god okay in an attempt to be less of an asshole, here’s how child speech DOES work (or tend to work, at least)

  • kids tend to hypercorrect — this means that they tend to say things like “sleeped” instead of “slept,” “writed” instead of “wrote,” “goed” instead of “went,” etc
  • kids tend not to make errors such as omitting verbs (“i hungry”)
  • kids also tend not to make errors in the i/me, she/her department (“me am hungry”)
  • simplification of difficult sounds — consonant clusters especially, so things like st, sp, ps, etc., as well as f, v, th-sounds, ch-sounds, etc.
  • “babbling”-type utterances (“apwen” for “airplane,” using one babbly word for multiple objects, things like that) generally occur in children under the age of three and a half
  • say it with me: an eight-year-old child is not going to be saying “me hungwy”
  • do not confuse child speech with stereotypical learner english mistakes, that’s not only incorrect but also gross on the stereotypical learner english front (“me love you long time,” anybody?)
  • if you’re going to write kidfic please do some * research

Totally. It can be helpful to remind yourself that young children tend to speak as though the English language actually made sense. Our brains are pattern-recognising machines: children are really, really good at puzzling out the implicit rules of the English language, but they don’t necessarily know all the silly exceptions and bizarre edge cases that break those rules yet – those can only be learned through experience and rote memorisation.

Basically, when children who speak English as a first language make mistakes, it typically reflects a tendency to treat English as more grammatically, syntactically, and/or orthographically consistent than it really is. In some cases, this can be compounded by the fact that some kids will get offended at how little sense “proper” English makes, and insist upon using the more consistent forms even though they know very well that they’re technically “wrong”.

for a long young portion of my life I insisted on pronouncing Sean “SEEN” because that’s how it’s spelled.

As someone who spends a good majority of her time working with kids, it irks me to no end when I see children written as if they’re babies.

Past the age of about five or six years old, children can have deep, intellectual conversations about the most bizarre of things. I HAD A CONVERSATION LAST WEEK WITH FOUR THIRD GRADERS ABOUT THE GAS PRICES AND TAXES IN HAWAII.

Were they entirely correct in the facts they were giving? No, because it was all from what they had heard from parents or on the news. But that doesn’t take away from the fact that I was having a genuine conversation with four eight and nine year olds about taxes.

Just about the only speech problems most kids have, unless they have a speech impediment, is not being able to pronounce certain consonants (replacing ‘th’ with ‘fw,’ for example, and some letters are harder to form with your mouth than others) and doing exactly what the person above said: using the English language the way they know how, which isn’t always the way English works.

Kids aren’t stupid. Stop writing them like they are.

I was tutoring a little kid (second grade, I think). He was complaining about a worksheet. “This is hard.” I started to correct him as I knew he was more than capable of it and this bright kid, who had obviously heard the lecture before from others, interrupted me and said: “I know. I know. It’s not really difficult. It’s just time consuming.” Some kids are spooky-smart and even quite articulate.

If you need (plotwise) to emphasize that the child is specifically childish … have them tell the same joke to everyone they meet, cracking themselves up before they get to the punchline … have them ask “Why?” incessantly … have them fidgeting and possibly breaking things (”Oops.” “What?” “Nothing!” “WHAT?!”) … and if you have more than one kid, even of the same age, you don’t have to write them at the same intelligence level or emotional maturity. Some kids are messy and some are obsessively neat. Some are quiet, some loud. Some giggly, some surly. They basically come in the same range of personalities as adults. 

If you don’t want to invest a lot of time writing dialog for kids, just establish that you have a quiet kid. But a kid who gives single-word answers is usually doing so because they don’t like you (or trust you) or they are focused on their own thing and you’re interrupting them. It doesn’t mean they lack the vocabulary or that they don’t understand the adult conversation going on “over their head” (the more inappropriate the conversation, the more likely the kids are paying attention).

I have jabbed the back button so many times on terrible kid fic. This is an excellent resource – kid fic, when done well, is a real treat for me.

The only children I have ever met who did say things like “me hungwy” were the ones who had figured out that if they sounded “adorable” they could wrap adults around their precious little fingers. Kids get it.

I have a three-and-a-half year old cousin who is so damn bright and articulate it astounds me. A few months ago I was playing with her in our grandma’s backyard and I asked her jokingly if she could kick her ball over a whole football field. She paused and looked thoughtful, and told me very plainly, “Probably not right now. But maybe I could someday.”

Like, dude. This three-year-old recognized the limits of her strength for the present, and also recognizes the possibilities of her future. She’s three

This same cousin still has a little bit of trouble pronouncing “l” if it’s in the beginning of a word; for example, she says “yook” instead of “look”, or “yady” instead of “lady”. She’s growing out of it, though. It’ll probably be gone by the time she turns four. I totally can’t wait until she’s going to school so I can have conversations with her about it.

Kids are so smart. Don’t underestimate them!