I’ve seen many posts reminiscing about how buckwild Twilight was but somehow nobody seems to have mentioned the matching family jewelry?? that for some reason the movie’s costume designers thought it made sense that all of the kids would casually wear a family crest to school every day and nobody would say anything about it?? as if five weird antisocial adopted teenagers who skip school a lot and are all dating each other doesn’t just SCREAM cult activity??? if Charlie Swan hadn’t wanted to bang Carlisle he would have CPS on that family in a heartbeat, thanks for coming to my tedtalk
maybe that’s their trick? maybe every time they move to a small town they all take turns strutting and casually draping themselves over furniture in front of the chief of police until they figure out which one of them s/he is most attracted to and then that cullen (usually carlisle but sometimes esme. once, memorably, jasper) is responsible for keeping cps off their backs for the next five years. emmett calls it operation fuck the police.
#neverforget the time that Bella wore a full length khaki skirt to meet Edward’s family and he basically lost it because he thought she looked so sexy
the mormon really jumps out in this paragraph
smeyer has a khaki fetish
You fools! I can assure you that Edward is actually loosing it because of the blue blouse (which brings out the complexion of Bella and makes her blushing ever more “delicious”) and not because of the skirt! She already wore it once and he had a real hard time deciphering between “I want to eat that” and “I want to eat that” …
(I think the first time was told from Edward’s POV in Midnight Sun or something…)
Back during the time when it was popular to bash Twilight for both legitimate reasons (Edward being borderline abusive to Bella, the whole child grooming plot point in Breaking Dawn, etc.) and not (REAL VAMPIRES DON’T SPARKLE THATS GAY), I saw this meme on Facebook where it was Louis and Lestat from Interview With The Vampire commenting on Edward’s sparkling and making fun of him for being gay. Like… Buddy My Guy. My Fair Dude. My Dear Sweet Homophobic Idiot. Not only are the Vampires in IWTV super duper gay, you’re lying to yourself if you think Lestat wouldn’t slam dunk his entire body into a tub of glitter on any given occasion. You Fool. You Imbecile.
Despite Twilight’s flaws I think we can all appreciate what Rosalie Hale did to her gang of rapists after she became a vampire
One of Twilight’s biggest flaws was always that um, how do I put this? It has these kickass supporting characters with these fascinating back stories and instead we have to pay attention to this truly boring couple instead of hearing about Jasper fighting in a vampire war, or Alice as a psychic girl in a 1920’s mental institution, or Carlyle as a vampire doctor trying to atone for all the murdering he did.
Or Leah as the ONLY BIOLOGICALLY FEMALE WEREWOLF IN THE WORLD, or that other vampire baby from South America.
Or pretty much anything beyond Bella and Edward staring at one another and crying.
Plume de Lynx 